Something About her, Chapter 3

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

—William Ernest Henley

 

‘Oh, that’s it?! Believe you me I don’t want to know you!’,Vinod was talking, but somewhere he knew he didn’t mean it.

‘That hurt! But I guess I have earned it. Listen, it might sound easy right now, but there will come a time when you won’t be able to…well…resist me.’She said in a slight smug way.

‘Is that it? Is that all?’, Vinod asked, calmer now.

‘Yes…I guess my work here is done.’,smitha knew what was coming next.

There was an awkward silence. Nobody knew what to do or what to say. Smitha was the one to break the silence.

‘So,  I am going to go back in my time now. See if what I did, made any difference.’,Smitha picked up her bag.

‘Wait, listen, I know I have been very rude to you. Not welcoming at all. I am curious what is it that happens in the future that you are trying to avoid.’Vinod asked.

‘I can’t tell you that’, She smiled. ‘But we can spend time just talking maybe’.

For some reason Vinod wanted to stay and figure out this beautiful, mysterious woman who was looking at him like she knew him. The fact that she knew everything about him, and still looked at him with adoration, baffled him. He thought nobody who actually knew him could like him, let alone love him. Here she was, beautiful, intelligent, witty and clearly, in love with him. The way she looked at him, with fierce protection and belonging. Like it was something so obvious, like it was the rule that she loved him, and anyone he knew who didn’t was so foolish. Supriya could never see Vinod like that, with utter confidence, unconditional love, especially after Josephine.

Smitha clicked her fingers to snap Vinod back to reality. ‘You can ask anything apart from what I am about to avoid’.

‘Okay then, how is the future, you know, for me?’,Vinod asked.

‘It’s pretty amazing. You and Supriya have a boy, you guys are really happy. You land nice jobs in the future, and become the supervisor Technical Head in Infocomm. It’s all rosy. Except for one problem.’

‘What?’

‘Me…’,Smitha laughed but it was a hollow laughter.’Can I make a request? I have a hotel room booked in my name, Can we have a few drinks together before I leave? Inside the room, nobody would recognize you, can you do that?’

Every bone in Vinod’s body wanted to say yes…but he knew what that might cost him. He had promised himself, never again. yet, something was just not right about denying the offer. He thought maybe a few hours, what difference can it make.

He decided to go with her. He could, afterall, handle a few drinks.

Moh-Maya

“What the hell is going on between my husband and that bitch?” Maya’s patience was at its lowest ebb and she was ready to burst.
Sanjay knew that she was serious. “Look, Maya. There is nothing going on between the two of them. Just a little bit of healthy flirting, I’d say.”
“Flirting? Healthy flirting? Really Sanjay . . .” she rolled her eyes in disgust. “That’s what you men call it? There is nothing healthy about flirting, Sanjay, not for a married man.
Healthy flirting is a term introduced by perverted men who want to lend legitimacy to their extramarital dalliances. Flirting invariably has a sexual connotation to it.”  She got up from her seat and walked around the room gesticulating and muttering something to herself. Suddenly she stopped, turned back, looked at Sanjay and asked, “Did my husband sleep with her? You are his friend. Did he ever tell you anything about it?”

Sanjay Knew with every passing hour, his composure was at the helm of breaking… this was the fifth time he had come over to Mohit and Maya’s place at this hour, with no sign of Mohit around. More importantly, this was the third time he had rescheduled a date, rather, the date. She was so not going to pick his calls again. Come to think of it, Rita was slightly desperate. Having been rescheduled for a simple drinks date thrice already, if she was still ready to forgive him and come over to his place on Sat, she would be his bitch!

“There you go again! You cannot get out of this by day dreaming!” She snapped her fingers and with that his very lucid Rita dreams. “Tell me Sanjay… I know he is your friend but I am your friend too”

Maya was crying now, not in a quiet sob-by kind of way, or even in the more conventional teary kind of way, she was screaming and tears were rolling down her mascara laden eyes, making her look like a very real threat. Sanjay decided to call his friend while his wife threw stuff on the ground, he should probably lock up all the liquor.

Dial Mohit Office. Ringing. No answer. He probably left office for the place early. Should he tell her? No, it would too embarrassing. Only Mohit should tell her. Damn, he could still not help chuckling at the memory of the first time Mohit mentioned it. You always hear of such things, and see them on the TV but, for it to happen to somebody you know so closely.

He watched the mad woman throw expensive vases and get on and on about how she left everyone to be with Mohit and this was what he gave to her in return. That extremely well maintained body, the neckline of her dress flaunting her cleavage. The diamonds clinging to her neck, she was indeed beautiful. He tried to reach Mohit and couple of times but failed. He finally decided it was time to leave, and went to her. By now, Maya had exhausted herself and was just lying on the sofa, smoking a cigarette.

“Hey, I should be going, it’s really late and I shouldn’t be here. I will talk to Mohit alright? Now, don’t drink too much and just try and get some rest.” Sanjay started walking towards the door, somehow his steps were heavier today and it took what felt like forever to reach the door knob.

“Sanjay wait!” Maya’s voice was barely audible. “Can you please stay here tonight, at least till Mohit gets back, I don’t want to be alone.”

Sanjay smiled, this was the moment he had been waiting for all evening. He turned around and looked at her, what a mess she was. “Okay then, let me inform my cook that I won’t be coming back tonight.” He smiled at her. He stepped outside on the porch and lit a cigarette, there was no cook. He bemused himself at how little Maya really knew about him. He took a puff and called Mohit Cell and disconnected after the third ring. This had been agreed upon.

Mohit called back.

“Is everything like we planned”, “yes Mohit, things are exactly how we planned it”.

”are you still at the Reiki place”? “Just got over, needed a few extra lessons for today”

“When do I see you then?” “How long do you think it will take?”

“I don’t know, by what you told me about her, might take a while!” Sanjay chuckled and disconnected.

He went back inside the house. As expected, Maya had dimmed all the lights keeping only a few of them on, so as to make it look romantic. He looked at her again, and didn’t see the beautiful daughter of the richest motherfucker in town, but a wounded lioness, ready to hunt again, he knew why she was doing this. She wanted to get back at Mohit. She could stoop to any level just to make him realize his mistakes. What a cold heartless evil bitch!

“you deserve it”, he muttered. “Why, that looks very romantic”, he said out loud. Maya smiled her best smile and offered him some wine.

“I thought, if he is out with that bitch, why should I be moping around the house. I have good wine and a good company, let me just take advantage of that.”

“I could use a wine”, Sanjay said and took the glass from her. All the signs were right there. She looked at him different, lingered her fingers a little longer on the glass than required. She was laughing and filling his glass up, he was flirting, the healthy kinds. She was responding and before long she was pressing her chest against her arm. After that what happened is a little hazy in Sanjay’s memory. She kissed him and they went upstairs, he undressed her…

 

Part –II

A few months before the night of Maya’s explosion, Sanjay and Mohit had met at a bar nearby, a place not too far but far enough so they didn’t bump into anybody they knew. Mohit was sweating profusely.

“Wow, you have a had a rough day, it seems”, Sanjay looked at him.

“You have no idea” ,Mohit replied.

“No, I mean literally. You have marks all over your neck… obviously the good kinds ”, Sanjay winked.

“Dude, it’s not even funny anymore. She is crazy! She wants me to fuck her all the time. She wakes me up with a blow job and asks me to fuck her twice before I go to work. She comes to my office at lunch, asks me to do her in the car! IN THE CAR man! It was good fun in the beginning, I liked the excitement but now, I am just tired mostly. I hate it, I want to sleep! And if I am not doing her, I should be dirty talking to her. There is no room to say no! That crazy woman, would give an everyday slut such competition! She always wants to know how good she is in bed! And now, it’s gotten out of hand. Vijay sent me some kinky video about strapping and tying up and shit. You know Vijay! She saw it, and from then on, it’s only been that! She wants me to tie her up and do anal! She hits me, she likes to hit me blue black and fucking bite me everywhere! It’s not fun anymore. She is sick! Sick fucker  ”

“So, tell her you are into this weird shit! ”, Sanjay tried very hard not to burst out laughing.

“It’s not just that”, Mohit continued, “She loves to treat me like her dog! You should see her man… she kicks me around and in the politest of ways! She makes me run around like her spot boy whenever her friends come over! Belittles me, god! I hate every waking moment with her”

“Leave her” Sanjay got serious now.

“She is rich god damned, I like the money I get to splurge.” Mohit said matter of factly. “I am screwed.”

They met a few more times before they found the perfect way to eliminate Mohit’s problem. He stopped going home at night, just went to change and bathe. Spoke to Maya, only when absolutely required. Left little proofs that he might be cheating. But he wasn’t. He was taking Reiki classes, the magic healing. Touching and pressing the right nerves. People took years to hone this skill to perfection. Mohit needed only a few months, for he had to perfect only one skill. After the class, he went to the same bar every day, ordered the same drink and the same side, , always the same spot, facing away and no one was to disturb him. He left anonymously and always left a hefty tip. This went on for about three months before the final phase of the plan took place.

Mohit was waiting outside the house at the designated time. Sanjay had met him at the bar only a few minutes ago, he went in from the backdoor and found her exactly how he wanted to see her for so long. Ties up, spread eagled naked, slap marks and whip marks. She made him buy all those things. Sanjay had done her good. He smiled, she opened her one good eye half shut, and screamed, “oh baby! That Sanjay did this to me. I just wanted to spend some time with him. Oh god! Look at me, he defiled me!”

“Shush”, Mohit said politely. “Maya, you know, I really want to kiss you today…”  and he did, he kissed her and untied her, quite some blood had been lost, he took her to the bathroom, cleaned her up. She couldn’t understand, why was he not calling the police, why was he not taking her to the hospital. He wiped her dry. Then, he wiped the floor and then he filled the tub. He asked her to get in. “This will soothe you my dear”. She was obedient like a child. Priceless feeling. He asked her, “How did it feel” ?

“How did what feel?”, she was shocked.

“The whole episode…did you enjoy it? Oh come on, I know what happened.”

Now was the time of the grand finale. She started crying softly. “Oh Mohit, I am sorry. I didn’t know this would happen! I was mad at you and then, I wasn’t thinking.” But Mohit was not listening. He was looking at her neckline and the diamonds that were still there, Sanjay had asked for them, as a souvenir. So he touched her diamonds. He moved two fingers around her necklace, her neck, her beautiful neck where the one nerve resided which was connected directly to her heart.

Part III

Neighbors had put up a “Welcome Back” sign at the door. Mohit was in police custody for 30 days. Maya’s dad had accused him of killing his daughter, but there was no court case. They had settled out of court, since the Bartender vouched for Mohit’s presence every single night in the bar till about midnight, and the murder happened around 10 30 in the night. The neighbors said, they always heard screaming noises  and saw weird things if by mistake either of their drapes were left open. She was spoilt and nobody really liked her. It was only a matter of what will become of you reputation, if they get to know that your daughter was into this kind of nymphomaniac stuff and that she had betrayed her husband. There was no need of a court case. But if there was one, Sanjay had skillfully taken Mohit’s place at the bar, always the same spot, facing away and no one was to disturb him. He left anonymously and always left a hefty tip, Sanjay was more generous because it was not even his money.

 

Why God, WHY?

PART I

“13,23,34,53,200,500 complaints. Are you kidding me? “, the boss thundered. He had been upset since morning, partly because we had been slacking off at our jobs, mostly smoking pipe. It wasn’t our fault though; it was a really good pipe. Izik had found this new guy,  who would give us like the best stuff and we just couldn’t get enough of it. I think it was imported, this grass…like from greener pastures, literally, somewhere in south East Asia.

Never mind , that was just one of the lesser important reasons why the Boss was upset. The more important reason was he had gas. He had been thundering around almost half the world the entire night before and it had remnants in the morning as well. That was primarily why he was so mad at us. There must be a hell of a hailstorm somewhere.

“How is it possible? Like literally!!!” he jerked me back to reality. I had zoned out in the middle, I hope I didn’t leave out anything important.

“Sir, we don’t have enough resources to support the entire system, it is slightly inefficie…” Odi interrupted. Bad mistake. “Zip it!” the boss glared at the new VP operations. The Russian, I think he is Russian; he doesn’t talk much, instantly shut up, like the cat had caught his tongue.

There was a lull in the conference room, like that in a graveyard. Nobody spoke, or whispered, I doubt any of us was even breathing.

The Boss exhaled. He looked like he was going to calm down now. An expression of relief washed over our face. We all looked at him intently, waiting to give out a verdict.

After what seemed like eternity, he finally decided to speak.

“I have decided. I will have to take things in my hands now. Enough of delegating and sharing responsibility. I had nothing when I came here, all this that you see, I worked for it. I built everything from ground up. Every brick in here is my hard work and creativity. I had no experience, zilch, nada, nothing. I agree, that led me to make a few mistakes in the initial design and approach, which is why I got you guys. To do what I missed. But clearly, you haven’t done a very good job here, have you?” he paused to catch his breath, it suddenly felt like there was a tornado somewhere around, or was I too dizzy. It must be the pipe. I have got to stop smoking at work. I mean, granted this is good stuff, but Burma, or whatever his name is, sells it at a very high price. Izik is a gentle soul, even though it looks like he could rip you in a thousand shreds by just clicking his fingers. He is mostly harmless. Anyway, I have to be more careful, they have been making very weird eye contact with me all morning, and that is mostly when we have to go for ground inspection or some such stuff. I hate doing that.

“Luci! Are you in, or out?” Boss was directly looking at me. The flare in his eyes could’ve burnt mine, so I quickly looked somewhere else. My shoes. Damn, I should’ve been listening. Now, what do I say, yes or No. If I say No, I will have to give him a written record of the reason as to why I am denying this assignment. Then that will reflect in my year end appraisal. Just great! Maybe, I should just say yes. How bad could it be? The last time I took a gamble, he sent me to Germany. It wasn’t so bad, the weather was sharp though, should’ve checked with the weather guy before.

“For the last time, luci. Are you going to come with me on this assignment or not?” , boy, was he angry. “Yes, Sir. I would be honored.” , I said before I decided to change my mind.

“Well then, it’s decided. Michael would go with us as well, out of all you nut heads, he has a better grasp of production. “ Darn it, why Michael??? He was employee of the month for the last, I don’t know, gazillion years and that wasn’t even the worst part. The worst part was he was my older brother.

“That’s it then. Meeting adjourned.” And with this, it was set in stone, our Boss; God was going to visit the earth with Michael and myself, Lucifer. We were to collect our tickets, itineraries and other such documentation from Odin, our VP operations. Man, where was Izik, I could really use some good and fresh air, should call up that other guy, Burma.

PART II

It had taken us two long days to get our base camp right. The first stop was extremely important. We had carefully sorted all the accusations, cases pending against god, simple complaints and even suggestions region wise. The maximum complaints came from the African sub-continent. But that was more of suggestions and simple complaints. They had sorted an arrangement outside our arrangement and were just looking for answers. Important as it may be, that kind of attention could render our reputation some harm. After all who likes being grilled for answers? Second, the statistics showed us that Middle-East had a peculiar situation. They were in the top 10 for the unhappiest-from-our-services zones; they did not really have many complaints/questions/pending cases. It looked like they were quite sorted and they weren’t asking god much. In fact, they were even bigger frauds than us (of course, we are in marketing sales), they simply pretended they knew what we wanted, what God wanted. So ultimately after a lot of brainstorming, some gargle blasters and little effort, we got nowhere. So, god, did I mention his stomach was upset, threw a glance at the world map and so sharp was his gas that one single burp burnt the whole map barring the Indian sub continent.

“That’s where we start.” He said before he closed the lavatory door behind himself.

It was decided then. God, Michael and I were taking the Garuda 101(we borrowed it from our Commander in Chief of security, Shiva) down to the stratosphere, where we would catch Air force one down to the earth’s surface and finish the rest of the journey on the orient express which would take us to New Delhi, India by 2 PM on 3rd June, 2015.

Now, whenever we are on business trips with the boss, it’s the best of times. We fly first class. We are constantly fed. This time, however, it was different. God had decided to do a different kind of survey as to why couldn’t we satisfy our customers better. What new products should be launched that are instant hits, or that’s what we’ll tell our shareholders. He decided not to act like god, but, just a measly looking frail human. Not only him, we both were to do the same. If you are wondering why didn’t we stop him from this stupidity? Well, he would’ve fried our ass, like literally.

So, there we were, 2 PM on the 3rd of june, year 2015 and it was freaking hot in there. No wonder people were cranky, the temperature was 44 degree Celsius. You asked someone for the Ajmeri gate side exit of the New Delhi Railway station, and they gave you such angry looks. Anyway, somehow, in spite of the scorching heat, we reached our place.

Now, the plan of action was simple, three people to go out in three different directions, like humans generally do and just observe things around, what do you think is wrong, yeah, like it is that easy. “Put you Business school knowledge in here, do whatever it takes, just get me results.” Boss’s final words before he sat down to fart again. People around thought it was the clouds but sadly there was no rain, which made them angrier for some reason.

At 4 PM, all of us, started heading to 3 different directions. I took the central road, for some reason it seemed like it would be easier for me to study things there. Mick took the eastern direction, and god took the southern bit.

After hailing an auto, whose driver I think ripped me off, I finally reached the cannaught circle, as the locals call it. Did I mention it was hot? I decided if I didn’t want to lose my mind, I should get rid of my hair. And I went straight to someone who was shaving heads and faces. I sat down and asked him to shave my head. After what seemed like a full 5 minutes, he said “there you go”. He looked pleased with himself. I looked pleased with him too. Paid him, boy was my wallet thinning down! I went looking for these people who cribbed so much. I was kind of pissed at them. Who do they think they are? We give them food, water and tress and air and ground. And they crib about it? How dare they! I realized I had never felt so angry in my life before. Was it the heat? I should check up the facts for the winter last term. I spent the entire evening observing, taking notes, making small pie charts for comparison, smoking some pipe, then running away from the cop guy. It was a good fruitful evening and I was pleased with myself.

I reached, a little after 10, Indian standard time, at the shady motel room we three had rented. I heard somebody hurling in my bathroom. I went to check, it was god.

“What Happened?” I had never seen this before, I was beyond worried. “Where is Michael?”

“Oh, you know Michael, he likes to go deeper in his research, leaves no stone untouched. He is probably going to be back in a couple of days.” God said wiping vomit off his mouth.

“What happened to you?” I asked.

“Oh nothing, It was really hot outside and I just didn’t know what to do. I felt like I would fall when I went to this place and they serve this drink there, it’s not as good as the pan galactic juice we get up stairs, but it is pretty good. You should try it. I just didn’t know when to stop. Forgot I wasn’t god anymore, I was human. “, he flashed his teeth. God seemed to be in a good mood. It started drizzling outside.

“Okay, anyway, I have my results here and I might be working towards a great solution here…” I began.

“No No No… We don’t need that no more. See I met shyam, this guy at the bar, he is an engineer. He gave me a superb solution to everything” God interrupted me.

“You discussed this with another human?”

“Not really, I just told him to talk to me like I was god, and tell me what could really be done about the situation with humans. And after about a few laughs, he spilled.” God was really excited about this.

“You told him you were god!?” I was baffled.

“He didn’t believe me! He laughed at my face.” He seemed amused. God continued,”And he told me the perfect solution. ” There was a dramatic pause. Drama was his favorite pass time. God loved theater. If he was not god, he would be a drama teacher in a stupid celestial government school.

“Go on” I said, to give him the said satisfaction.

“We just improve our PR skills. Yeah! A few miracles here and there, a few faith healers…and that’s all. CSR!”

“CSR? Are you serious? Corporate Social Responsibility? ” I was losing track. I hated Drunk god. I mean, this was not the first time. He had always been the last person to be invited to a glug-glug party in heaven! He got just too creative. He created earth in one of these moments, and we were all still suffering for it.

“Are you saying we don’t have to make this trip? This whole nonsense was for nothing! A stupid drunk earth engineer gave you the solution to your celestial problem!” I was truly agitated.

“Who would’ve thought!! And listen Luci, I have been very hard on you, how about You and I go out for lunch tomorrow? These humans have really good food! We’ll go for some kebabs, Shyam told me a very good place. It’s close by, Karol Bagh or something…” He said, “ and don’t you worry about Michael, he is a good strong kid, he will come back on his own. He is just working! I know! That Kid has the potential to be…” I couldn’t take it no more. I shut the door behind myself.

I was wondering if it was time to quit this job, this guy was clearly nuts! He just changed his entire planning and strategy on a puny human’s mind! I was losing my mind, and the cooler was not very effective. It was hardly cooling anything. Least of all my mind! Should I even attempt at explaining my solution to God, but, we all know he doesn’t listen to anybody. I eventually slept angry at the heat, the mosquitoes and mostly at God.

PART III

I got up with a heavy head. I wanted to scream for some reason. The light was too bright. Damn it! I wanted to go back to sleep, then I remembered that I had a task in front of me. I went upto God’s bed. He had his head in his hands and he was groaning.

“How are you feeling this morning?” I asked.

“Not too great, how do these guys do it? They drink and go to work and look forward to doing it again. I am telling you I am never drinking again while I am still human. What time did I go to bed last night? I don’t remember anything.” God moaned.

“So you don’t remember your PR skills plan? The ultimate answer!”

“No, that I do. I wrote it down here on my Ipad. See, these humans are not so bad after all…I have everything stored here with time and date. We should get a couple of them for Odi, he keeps forgetting stuff a lot. ” Damn, it. Where did he have the time to get one of those Ipad thingies.

“Fine” I said, “We start the miracles this morning, I will take the same spot.” I wanted to just get out of there.

“Yes, I go to south again…Maybe touch a bit of Gurgaon as well. Oh and here, keep one of these Iphones as well, to keep in touch. While our heavenly radio is out of tune, we can call each other through these little pocket clouds. And, I will leave one of them phones for Michael, in case he decides to come back earlier than we think. ” God waved me out, dismissively.

I stepped out of my room filthy and smelling of sweat. As an angel, I never had to bathe or smell good. However, humans always stank. I would never leave that bug had I created this whole system.

So, there I was back at the circle drinking a miraculously smooth and tasty milkshake, leaving bits and pieces of heavenly miracles here and there. A thief returning the wallet he stole; a guy getting squint eyes because he was eying a girl wrong, a blind guy getting his sight back, a lost kid finding his way to his parents. Small and entertaining. It was almost afternoon, when he called. I totally forgot we had lunch plans.

“Hey god, how is it going?”

“Damn awful! Where are you?”

“At the cannaught circle. Are you close by?”

“Yes, I thought you’d be there. Where else could you be if you were in central Delhi.”

“Yup, meet me at KFC, block B, inner circle.”

“Got it!” and click the line went dead.

After about 15 minutes, I saw him rushing past an orderly, screaming at him to give him side.

“Stupid, idiots, they don’t know how to walk!”

“Hello God… are we having a good time?” I joked.

“I am having the most awful time of my tenure. This place is crazy! I had to take a bus, where one of them guys stole my ipad and my money, thank fully I was playing candy crush on my phone, or that would’ve gone too! I didn’t get a seat for about an hour, and then when I did, another guy shoved me and sat on it. I forgave him, but he accidentally, or so he says, stepped on my toe! It’s been hurting ever since, my pinky toe! I went to help a blind guy, and that guy started arguing with me…asking me to mind my own business! I am minding my own business right now! He asked me to, you know, to…”

“fuck off..?” I chipped in…

“Yeah! How dare he? And it was so hot, I almost fainted twice! The auto driver was asking me all the money that was left on me. I requested, almost pleaded but he didn’t listen!”

The ranting went on for quite a while. I tried to calm him and eventually after a two hour break, we both went back to work. Wonder what Michael was doing…

I spend the rest of the day simply loitering around looking for some guy who might get me my fresh air. But I couldn’t find anything. Finally, I decided to call it a day and go back to the motel.

Nobody was back yet, not God, not Michael. So, I watched something they call porn. Boring and it doesn’t make one bit of sense. Honestly, don’t waste your time on it. But, it did remind me of Camilla…Boss’s secretary. She is so soft to look at. She gives you a fuzzy feeling in the stomach. Maybe, when I go back I will ask her out, take her for coffee…Her birthday must be around.

I must have slept dreaming of Camilla, because when I got up, it was 2 30 in the morning. Where were these guys? An uneasy feeling crept through me…I went to see god’s bed to check if he had tried calling the other phone he left for Michael. That’s when I noticed it. It must have been like that from the evening. But I noticed it now. His stuff was gone. Was he mugged? And kidnapped? Or worse!

I frantically tried his number. There was a ring, but nobody picked up. Beads of worried sweat started forming on my brow. What must have happened? I called again, no response.

Tring…Tring…tring…no response

Tring…Tring…tring…no response

Tring…Tring…tring…no response

Tring…Tring…tring…no response

Tring…Tring…tring…Hello?

“Hello? God! Where the hell are you?”

“Oh! Hi, I can’t believe it catches reception here…I am in Greece luci! I am taking a vacation.”

“A Vacation!? Are you nuts! Why didn’t you tell me? I am here stuck in this dry arid land with no faith, cleaning your mess, and you are on vacation!?”

“Now now Luci, that’s no way of talking to your boss. Well, I was so frustrated with this whole thing, I couldn’t take it no more and I took off…poof…vanished. I should’ve told you but it was very sudden. Let me make it up to you. I’ll give you a fat ass promotion and a big hike…yeah? Let me call you in an hour to get your travel arrangements right. Oh, and Michael is getting married Btw, he found a girl, some Indian demi-god. That’s why he was missing all this while. Can you believe it? But, you’ll know about it from him.”

Was it for real? Let me get up there once, I am going to quit! This is it. Mick goes and screws around and I work my ass off, and God is on vacation?… One more earthly hour, and all this is over. I am going to protest! I will take my people with me!God must be sacked!

One hour passed and then some more. No one called, no arrangements. The number was out of reach and I was frustrated. Maybe, he got something else to do. I took off from the motel without paying anything. I had no money. I was sitting at a curb.

“Hey…psst…hey, you Lucifer?” I looked around. Who here could know my name!

“Yeah, who are you?”

“Iziquel sent me. Said, you might need some fresh air”. This stranger who looked like a hippie, who had really long beard and was well ahead in his age, looked more than family to me at that time! I hugged him and cried! Yes, I cried…with tears and all…not proud of it.

He gave me an understanding look, and said, “You waiting for god to call you back?” I nodded.

“Hmm, okay, if you have to wait. I know this place, near the sea. A lot of booze and stuff, nice Russian girls, it is about a day from Delhi. My friend will get you a job in one of his shacks on them beaches! Don’t worry, I will set you up.”

I swear to god, for once, it felt like this guy had like four heads in all directions. But that’s crazy, right! Even for gods.

I sure was…

When I was born, I was a believer. I had faith, immense faith. I believed in nature’s goodness. The just balance of a higher power. I believed there was a quota of everything. My quota of good, my share of bad, wisdom, stupidity, love, hatred. While growing up, my parents taught me to judge myself, only myself. I remember they told me, if anyone else judges you , check yourself and subject yourself to the highest degree of assessment. If you measure up, don’t listen to them. If you don’t, ask yourself what would you wan’t to do about it.

What goes around comes back around, so don’t hurt people. You might not be able to live with the regret. I never asked them, what if they hurt me? I should’ve. I believed in patience, that what I did was my business, what others did, would be theirs and so would be the consequence. I believed in being friendly to whoever I met. Don’t judge a book by its cover. Welcome people with open arms. To that I received a cold shoulder, they thought I was either too desperate  for attention, or I was simply overwhelming.

I waited for the people who hurt me to apologize, I had decided to forgive them, the moment they did. They never apologized. I still forgave. I was told to take the higher road, for my clear conscience. I did, but now I cry at nights, because I can’t seem to understand how they sleep at night.

I gave, and gave more when I saw it was required, hoping I would be, if nothing else, acknowledged for it. I was taken for granted. People took from me and never looked back. They said things and never felt bad. I told myself, it’s okay, I know I am a good person. I didn’t judge them, I knew they were just lost and they would come around. No one did.

I have a clear conscience because I apologized every time I hurt some one. I helped people in need and didn’t mind if they didn’t say thank you. I forgave people who hurt me. I let go off them, when they asked me too, even if it ripped me apart.

I have a clear conscience, but I don’t believe anymore.

Now, people ask me, you are too young, how can you lose faith already? I don’t know what to tell them.