unedited…not thought about…has been pending for three years now.
Sorry dearestestestest TK,
I tried writing this a lot of times, but I couldn’t. I don’t know. I think it was the way things ended, there was so much I wanted to tell you so much I had to say to you, but I never got the chance. I am sure if u ever got a chance you would laugh at me, for being hung up on you so long. U would call me dramatic or whatever. I don’t give a damn. I don’t care what u gave me or took away from me I don’t care what I did to make u think I was exactly what u thought me to be. I never thought I needed you so much but since u left, I have only been true to you.
I know that sounds ironic, because I cheated. I cheated on you with emotions with whatever I had in me to make it right. I know I was weak and you deserve better, and , I am not saying you are not entirely at fault, or you are. It doesn’t matter. Anymore. What matters is that I always loved you, still do. And I will always remember you with the kindest of emotions. I forgive you, I forgive myself. I think of you a lot, not in an obsessive way but there are times when I think you would laugh at me right now, or, right now you would be so proud. I think of you a lot. Never with frustration, or anger or any ill feeling. I hope you have a satisfying life, and not just monetarily but even otherwise. I know u would. I know u would make the maximum of life because you my dear are perfect. Your memories still make me laugh. My heart fills up when I think of our last conversation, but its all good. It’s good u don’t have to see me right now, like this. U would not recognize me.
But I know one thing, I have seen love and with you, I have seen a life, and rest assured for whatever it is worth, I will try to live that life as close to your perfection as I can. I will always make you proud. That said, I want to let you go now…I want to press ctrl+F and not find you.
Love you baby