We often want to bask in the glory of that day when we sit back, and relax, think of the old days and curse the future…the time slice slipping off our hands and never getting what we truly want. Complaining of the present and wishing the past…okay, slightly too poetic for a Tuesday afternoon…?
Well, after the Monday I had, it had to be so! Went to my old school, and when I say old… I mean ages! yes, the classrooms where we laughed and gossiped together. The school canteen, the heart throb music teacher 😛 Everything came flooding back to me. Sat with my principal who was so touched that I came back to see her, but I was the one honored truly…
While she kept talking of the new developments at school, my attention was completely hogged by the two girls sitting outside… (concentration in the class was always my problem :P) I couldn’t understand anything they were talking about, but, I could never miss the hope of dreams in their eyes. Reminding me of those days when I used to dream like that. And what happiness it gives you to feel the presence of those dreams around you, the dreams which you never thought possible.
Going back to school made me feel so special and lovely. Happiness multiplied four times. Thank you everyone who got me here…
unedited…not thought about…has been pending for three years now.
Sorry dearestestestest TK,
I tried writing this a lot of times, but I couldn’t. I don’t know. I think it was the way things ended, there was so much I wanted to tell you so much I had to say to you, but I never got the chance. I am sure if u ever got a chance you would laugh at me, for being hung up on you so long. U would call me dramatic or whatever. I don’t give a damn. I don’t care what u gave me or took away from me I don’t care what I did to make u think I was exactly what u thought me to be. I never thought I needed you so much but since u left, I have only been true to you.
I know that sounds ironic, because I cheated. I cheated on you with emotions with whatever I had in me to make it right. I know I was weak and you deserve better, and , I am not saying you are not entirely at fault, or you are. It doesn’t matter. Anymore. What matters is that I always loved you, still do. And I will always remember you with the kindest of emotions. I forgive you, I forgive myself. I think of you a lot, not in an obsessive way but there are times when I think you would laugh at me right now, or, right now you would be so proud. I think of you a lot. Never with frustration, or anger or any ill feeling. I hope you have a satisfying life, and not just monetarily but even otherwise. I know u would. I know u would make the maximum of life because you my dear are perfect. Your memories still make me laugh. My heart fills up when I think of our last conversation, but its all good. It’s good u don’t have to see me right now, like this. U would not recognize me.
But I know one thing, I have seen love and with you, I have seen a life, and rest assured for whatever it is worth, I will try to live that life as close to your perfection as I can. I will always make you proud. That said, I want to let you go now…I want to press ctrl+F and not find you.
Love you baby